Portfolio

Cover Letter: 

Dear Block 4 English,

This year in freshman English we wrote various papers, narratives, read multiple short stories, uncovered the symbols of Lord of the Flies, read multiple poems and made our own claims, and now we take a look at Shakespeare. That is quite a lot to accomplish in one year. There were strong points in my reading comprehension and writing along the way. There was also lots of confusion, which led to many negative points as well. When reflecting on the year I’ve had in English there were mistakes I would correct and successful points I was proud to accomplish. In this portfolio I have a revised edition of my Literary Analysis, which lacked organization of ideas and an overall understanding of my purpose for writing. I also chose to take my blog, “In Defense of Swim Team: A Swimmer Girl’s Manifesto” which I wrote in the first quarter, and create a “field guide” or tutorial entitled How to Win a State Championship in 10 Easy Steps. And finally, included in this portfolio is a list of those negative points I’ve had in English alongside the positive achievements I’ve made this year.

I decided to revise my Literary Analysis of “The Return” by Ngugi Wa Thiong’o, which I titled “A New Point of View”. My paper had correct grammar and spelling, conventions were not the problem. The paper also had unique diction and the sentence fluency was satisfactory. The paper fell flat at organization and understanding of the prompt. I did not have a good understanding of how and what to write so my ideas were not clear or organized. The format of my paper was also incorrect and so when turned into Turnitin.com it was not the appropriate length or quality.

“Remixing” my blog “In Defense of Swim Team: A Swimmer Girl’s Manifesto” I decided to put a twist on the main idea which was our practice season and how difficult it actually was. I decided to instead reflect on the successful outcome of our season, which was winning the State Championship. I thought of the popular YouTube videos where people will present the viewers with random tutorials for actions or goals people might nee to accomplish. Filming a video in such a short time was not possible for me however, so I decided to create a “field guide” to swimming or a “Swimming for Dummies” if you will. The book will feature 10 easy steps that relate specifically to my team’s season and routines. I hope it comes off as educating yet comical at the same time.

My writing this year has slowly increased in voice and sentence fluency, my two strongest points or traits of good writing.  I tend to do well with length and can easily finish a paper or assignment meeting its requirements. Unfortunately, I struggled a good bit with formatting for most of the first semester and that is where I lost the majority of my points on assignments. I think I definitely started this year with decent diction in my writing. I also think that correctness in things like conventions or peer editing others paper came quite easily to me and was not a problem. I definitely struggle in ideas if anything just due to the fact that I often find myself just confused by the purpose of the assignment or how I’m supposed to go about completing it. I am extremely easy to confuse and so I am always misunderstanding directions from teachers and that flaw did not help my ideas in writing this year. Organization is normally not a problem for me but due to the confusion with or lack of ideas I seemed to come across much too often this year, my organization was also a bit jumbled. I think I improved as the year went on, my research paper being much cleaner and clearer then my literary analysis, literacy narrative, and other works or writing we did in the first semester of English I.

I’ve noticed, and I’m sure all of you have noticed if you’ve read at least one of my blogs or other pieces of writing this year, that my writing tends to go a bit overboard. As soon as I can come up with a creative or sufficient idea for my writing I end up with a brain overflowing with words and phrases and basically my mind explodes onto the keyboard or paper. I honestly cannot help my excessive writing and I really do not mind it, I find it to be a large amount of creativity rather than a jumble of random thoughts that have jumped from my mind onto the page. You all might disagree with me however, and be horribly confused when reading anything and everything I’ve written this year, although I hope it’s not the latter. I have worked on limiting my ideas when writing for more formal occasions such as this letter to you all and I have learned to keep only what is important and actually relates to the topic at hand. Formality in my writing also seems to be a difficulty of mine that I struggled with throughout the year. I did love the blogs for this reason though because they allowed me to be casual and talk about things that I was actually interested in or excited about at the time. I thought it was a different style and idea for English class and although I had to remember to update every week, I enjoyed the blogs the most out of all that we did.

Overall, English I has been a beneficial class that took lots of effort, long nights, and creativity. I may have struggled with comprehension and due dates along the way but at the end of the year I am a better writer and student.

Writing Remix:

How to Win a Swimming State Championship: In 10 Easy Steps
(a field guide) I have a printed copy of the book but can't upload it onto blogger

Analysis of Rhetorical Situation:

         My writing remix, a field guide to swimming entitled How to Win A Swimming State Championship in 10 Easy Steps was written for swimmers who are on a high school or other close-knit team like myself. I wanted to create something that showed all the personal, hilarious, and intense moments of our swim team’s daily life and season. To do this I needed to know that the audience understood that this field guide is not actually meant to assist a team in winning state championship but to describe the events and friendships that led up to my team specifically completing such an awesome goal. My original audience when I was writing my blog about Swim Team and how difficult it actually is as well as my blog about winning State and the thrills that came with that experience was meant to be my fellow peers. I was simply informing my friends and classmates about an awesome event in my life. In my blog “In Defense of Swim Team…” I was defending the sport I love so much and intending the audience to be made up of those people I know are out there that think swimming is not a difficult or even “real” sport. How very wrong they were.

            So therefore my stance has changed since I “remixed” my blogs about swimming into Swimming for Dummies handbook. I no longer am a lawyer for swimmers or an excited freshman who won her first state championship. I now take on the stance of what is meant to be a long time professional at the “art” of winning swimming state championships, even though this was our team’s first time bringing home a first place trophy in the history of Episcopal. So for this reason I try to have the tone of a skilled professional, but also a bit of humor is involved seeing as I’m revealing all the crazy and stupid things our swim team did all season to “prepare” ourselves.

            I decided that a field guide book would be the best medium to approach with this project due to the fact that it was time manageable and it would include real-life pictures of our team which would most likely be either comical or more interesting to people viewing my writing remix. I chose to make a booklet of 10 simple steps which fit my team specifically, which are all further explained and elaborated upon with the help of pictures and videos of our swim team. The medium has changed from a simple 3-paragraph journal style bog to a book, which is meant to reveal the secrets of a successful yet, perfectly dysfunctional swim team. 

Hits and Misses:

Hits:

• Literacy Narrative: I had a great voice in this paper, as Dr. D pointed out, and I didn't really struggle with writing it.
• My analysis of a song blog, "Carry On (Fun.) - Lyric Analysis": i really enjoyed creating this blog and finding the connection between songs and poems

Misses:

• Literary Analysis: Bad organization and sense of ideas, this is why I am rewriting this paper...
• Literary analysis of Lord of the Flies: i got a decent grade but I just think I could have done a better job with this assignment and shown a much better understanding of the book. 

Literary Analysis: Rewritten

A New Point Of View

Ngugi Wa Thiong’o uses physical, temporal, and psychological setting as well as point of view to foreshadow the many changes that have occurred in Kamau’ s home and lifestyle and toy with the emotions and hopes of Kamau and his people.

As Kamau begins his long journey home, the first thing readers will begin to wonder is; from where was Kamau returning?  With Ngugi’s introduction, “The road was long” (195), readers immediately get a sense of sadness and fatigue. Beginning right at the first paragraph, the narrator of the story clearly informs the reader that Kamau is eager to return home from a place that was not treating him well. As Ngugi elaborates in his story, Kamau’s past comes into the light. Some kind of war emergency had arisen in Kamau’s country. Not much information is given about the situation, but Kamau’s thoughts give readers the inside scoop on how many lives in his country were affected. Men were arrested and taken into detention camps while all kinds of people who remained in the villages were killed. Ngugi tries to give us as much insight as possible through Kamau’s memories of the townspeople, “There was the middle-aged Wanjiku, whose deaf son had been killed by the Security Forces just before he himself was arrested” (195). This new information that is slowly presented and ideas that are quietly hinted at throughout the story are like small little clues that Ngugi continuously drops on the reader. They foreshadow how the town is in a sort of depression and the people have given up hope.

The main change Kamau found when he returned home was the fact that his town was in a new location. As the narrator explains, “They told him of the new village. The old village of scattered huts spread thinly over the ridge was no more” (196). Kamau had clearly felt extreme love towards his hometown and village he lived in. All the pain he had been feeling seemed to be crumbling away as soon as he knew he was drawing near to his beautiful village. Seeing the dirty streets and sickly crops puts fear in Kamau, as he believes his town may be destroyed. As he ventures on, he discovers the beautiful green fields and flowing river that he knows to be his true home, which all give him a sense of hope. Unfortunately, as he further investigates the area he realizes just how hopeless things actually were for his people. His old neighbors, friends, family, and people even lost faith in Kamau himself. One of the most insightful lines, “Perhaps the river would not recognize in his hardened features that same boy to whom the riverside world had meant everything” (195). Foreshadowing is a key feature or figurative language and traits of writing in this story. Ngugi implies that even the actual physical setting of Kamau’s home will not remember the same Kamau that once lived there. The personification of the house and river and their negative attitude towards Kamau on his return home make the matter all the more serious and strange, just adding on the extensive amount or strange yet serious events that seem to be playing out in Kamau’s life such as war and concentration camps. The way Ngugi plays with Kamau’s emotions through the physical and temporal setting of the story creates a more mysterious and ominous story for the reader while allowing an enormous view into the future events of Kamau’s life.

Kamau’s town was not originally very energetic or excited, which leads the reader to believe that some thing unfortunate is in store for Kamau. His town seems to be run in a very boring sort of “everyday is the same as the last” routine. Readers might also infer that his town was rather poor as the narrator describes, “In the street, naked and half naked children were playing, throwing dust at one another” (197). The people are carrying out the same jobs everyday, the houses seem old and worn down, and the town as a whole just seems to be in shambles. The line about children having to spend their days half-naked, covered in dirt, and most likely in positions of responsibility much to great for them. As Ngugi prefers to describe it, “The whole country was dull and seemed weary” (195). These physical and psychological aspects of setting seem to foreshadow the unfortunate and extremely sad events to come in Kamau’s life.

Also Ngugi Wa Thiong’o seems to know everything about Kamau’s life, whether it is dealing with the past, the present, or the future. He knows about the past Kamau has, one filled with torturous years Kamau spent in detention camps. Ngugi knows about the forgetful home Kamau will be returning to in the future. And of course, Ngugi is following Kamau’s present journey home step by step. This third person omniscient point of view is another thoughtful method that Ngugi uses to create an amazing story. He seems to know not only to know the backstory of Kamau’s life as well as what is to come for the man, but also more about his persona life. The narrator just gives the reader the idea and assumption that he himself knows exactly what Kamau has been through throughout the war and what state the war left him in for the future events of his life. The narrator seems to know just how Kamau will handle certain situations. The point of view is never inside of Kamau’s brain or the mind of someone else in his story, but still seems to have the inside scoop on Kamau’s life and its details.

As Kamau’s journey ends, readers find the truth of a very hopeless village and a wife who completely gave up on her own husband. People believed things they should not have thought possible. They lost faith in Kamau just as he lost faith in his town being relocated. And as Kamau comes to these realizations, he decides to do things that are nowhere near his best intentions. He makes unnecessary decisions. And Ngugi was trying to tell us readers all along.